Its gotten me thinking about what is different all of a sudden. I'm in worse shape than I was a few years ago when I really put a lot of time into these tricks, plus, I really only get to practice once a week (at juggling club) on things that aren't performance related.
Its got to be a mental thing. Sam Malcolm recently let me borrow the book "The Inner Game of Tennis." It was a great read, full of lots of good insight. The strange thing about it though to me, is that most of it centered around not actively trying something, err...rather, not engaging your brain in such a conscious way about the trick. In other words, just let it happen. I have to admit (rather reluctantly), it remind me of Dave Nager saying to me "just do it" or "juggle better." I was skeptical that the book would help, because how do you change a behavior like that? Seems like it may have worked though!
Regardless of the reason why I've been able to make progress recently, its very exciting. I feel like I'm getting to the point I was at with 5 balls about 8 or 9 years ago, but with clubs now. Breaking through this barrier has really shifted my perspective on what I can do. A lot more seems within reach all of a sudden. I know for many 12-15 year old prodigies out there, these tricks are almost run of the mill. I started juggling in the era where just juggling 5 clubs on stage was amazing in itself! I never dreamed I'd be capable of half the tricks I do today, simply because kids my age at the time weren't doing them (well, maybe a few were...Adam Kariotis comes to mind, although he's a few years older than me I think).
Getting back on track, I decided that I wasn't going to count a 5 up pirouette until I hit it clean and held a stable pattern afterwards (no specific number of throws really, just a controlled pattern) with a clean collect. This reminded a lot of my friends as being very WJFish, which is fine. I have definitely been very influenced by the WJF and think a lot of the ways it regards technical juggling are very important. I didn't have this qualifier though because I wanted it to be WJF recognized or anything. I wanted to do it because I wanted there to be absolutely no doubt in my mind that I in fact did the trick. It was also a way to make it meaningful. I like setting concrete goals for myself, and I like setting the bar high. This way it really means something to me when I achieve those goals. Hitting that 5 up might have been one of the best moments in my life. I have never felt so proud of something I've done (and relieved!) Those of you who have watched me working on it for the past few years may know what I mean and why it meant so much.
A large part of the reason I juggle is to show off. That's fine, I'm a performer now, and I like being able to do cool stuff AND letting people know I can do cool stuff. However, that's definitely not the main reason I juggle. I'm addicted to progress. I cannot stand being stagnant. I always want to be improving myself somehow. It's why I initially went to grad school, and why when I dropped out, being a lab tech wasn't enough for me. It's also why I love juggling. If nothing else, there's always one more object. It's why I love performing too. Every show is a chance to do better. This also goes hand in hand with my need for instant gratification. Street performing is perfect for that.
It also makes me really happy that even though I'm pushing 30, I'm still getting better in a pretty significant way. Watching people who are older than I am and still improving has been hugely inspirational too (I'm talking about you Matt Hall!). I fully intend to juggle the rest of my life, and to keep improving in some way, shape or form.
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